WHAT IT TAKES TO WORK AT DALC EDUCATION

DALC EDUCATION has come a full circle and now former students are tutors and administrators at the college. One Stephen Waithaka is imparting his DALC EDUCATION knowledge on DALC EDUCATION students at the 20^th Century campus with abandon. Stephen graduated only last year with a diploma from the non-existent Cambridge Association of Managers and is now teaching DAL C students at the POSTGRADUATE level with such a short time of finishing his course. We have seen copies of the projects he submitted for assessment last year and honestly speaking, Stephen would not get a Diploma from any institution of repute with that quality of work. DALC EDUCATION has however found him to be fit and given him fake powers to TEACH! This is the case with the administrators who are diploma holders some of whom have been in college for less than 2 years.

As usual, Oborah glosses over the issue of unqualified staff with another one of those “Talent is everything TALKS.” He will ridicule the civil service, big companies etc for hiring people with experience and claim that he is helping Kenyans by hiring dim witted green horns. His excuse will be that these people are talented! He has found that out from his old crap known as the GIFT and TALENT test! Unfortunately, even these green horns do eventually see through the DALC EDUCATION scam and come to a point where they cannot work at DALC. Ask one Elvis Muloki who recently left DALC EDUCATION after studying and working at the head office for close to 3 years.

Oborah’s outlandishly claims that he is out to hire talented young people who understand DALC EDUCATION but this is just another way of saying that he is seeking young, naïve people who will not ask questions. Most of the people working at DALC EDUCATION are former students because:

• Majority are exactly sharp having scored lowly grades
• Most of them cannot find work anywhere else
• People are generally desperate for a job. Any job.
• They are reluctant to spoil DALC’s name as they hold diploma’s from the same institution.
  
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The qualities that DALC EDUCATION requires of it s staff are:

1. Belief:

To work at DALC EDUCATION, you must be like the men Jesus called. You have to become Oborah’s disciple. You must believe in him 100%. Believe in his vision, scam, professorship, intelligence, house, wife, professorships, imagination, promiscuity, lunch and whatever else that he needs you to believe in.

You must believe when he says the bloggers and journalists questioning him are madmen. You must also believe when he says that you are immensely talented despite the fact that you hear echo noises in your head and have trouble calculating your change after a shopping. You must be ready to show your belief by dismissing those who question Oborah as misguided idiots who are not worth a fart. Infact, you should take any criticism of DALC EDUCATION roughly and threaten to spill blood for Oborah. Patrick Makanga is particularly gifted at this.

If you do not believe fully, then he will have to chuck you as soon as you realize that your deductions go into his pocket and not to the taxman. You must also believe that he has a right to call you names such as jinga, idiot, moron, thief etc whenever he wishes and fire you faster than you can swat a fly.

2.Thickness

In some jobs, thickness is preffered but only if the job involves hauling heavy cargo and therefofe needs a thick set of muscles. At DALC EDUCATION, thickness of the mind is a preferred quality and is bound to get you a job in a flash. Why do you think Patrick Makanga works at DALC EDUCATION. Oborah has on a few occasions said that he trusts the guy because he kinda daft but loyal (see above) hence he is the right person for DALC EDUCATION. That should sum things up for all those bright, motivated and career focused people intending to join DALC EDUCATION. It is not for you. Leave it for the thick ones that DALC EDUCATION loves so much. A majority of the DALC staff will not strike you for being:

• The sharpest tools in the box
• Quick brown Foxes
• The fastest cars on the road
• The tallest tree in the forest

In as much as Oborah says that he appreciates the talents of people who got low grades because they were late for exams, had no clue or were never in class. He really loves their inability to logically question his Fraud factory and the immense gratitude they owe him for allowing their dumb D- grades to go to 2^nd year in 6 months. These employees also hampered by their academic pasts and cannot change jobs like Oborah does cars. They are not the kind of people most companies will hire. The staff must follow the example set by long serving Patrick and sit on their brains all day whilst sporadically calling upon their wit reserves to update their facebook status.

Patrick for example updates his status 15 times a day brainless things such as ;

• Who is your daddy?
• Where do babies come from?
• When you go fishing and you catch something, that's good. If you're making love and you catch something, that's bad.
• My dick is so big; I run three-legged races by myself...it graduated a year before I did & it has it’s own time zone

If you are thick enough then your stay at DALC EDUCATION will be smooth as you will honestly believe that:

· Oborah is a professor

· Faith Kinyae is a PhD

· Your deductions go the government

· DALC and CAMBRIDGE together is supposed to mean something

· You are talented in human resources or healthcare management because Oborah said so.

· DALC students get Diplomas from the UK

· You have a career at DALC EDUCATION

· You are competent

Humphrey Oborah will pay extra if you are not only slow witted but narrow minded as well. He loves narrow minded people who have no capacity to thick outside what they have been told. NICK KOYIET is living proof.