Thursday, December 31, 2009

DALC's Student Story

Dear Bloggers.

A liar and a fraudster

When I joined DALC, Oborah looked at my KCSE transcript and said I was a good manager and thus should join the management courses. Mark you, I was straight out of high school and this career expert claimed I was management material. My parents were naturally overjoyed by the news and Oborah played into their psyche by claiming , “infact, this suit I am wearing was bought by one of the students who was recently hired by the world bank from DALC”. At that point, we were all convinced by this smooth talking con. He threw in a couple of stories about his UK degrees and work experience + his research in Gift and Talent Testing.

We were quickly boxed and my parents paid the entire fees so that my learning would not be interrupted. That’s was the biggest mistake of my life and when I told my parents that DALC was fishy, Oborah told them I was lazy and had in fact failed to complete my assignments. And they believed him. I had to go to DALC no matter what and I decided to snoop around and in no time, I had enough evidence to convince my parents that DALC was fake. Especially his fake degree of the WIDU.

They were shocked that they had been tricked, scammed and defrauded. Then they were angry that this man was still appearing on TV with his DALC infomercials about 22nd century education. My dad took it up with the CHE and nothing came of it, absolutely nothing. Close to 250,000 was lost in addition to 8 months.

Needless to say that I have joined a proper University. One that does not conduct Gift and Talent Testing, one that is not run by a maverick and certainly does not promise some Cambridge & Oxford degrees. It does not have 100+ courses but with it. I am sure I can forge a future.

What about those Kenyans that are being conned by Oborah? What are we going to do as responsible citizens.

Monday, December 21, 2009


You might be broke as a result of Oborah's conmanship. Maybe you took a bank loan and ended up with one of his useless Cambridge/Oxford/European Business School-Cambridge/ Irish International University papers.

Maybe you have no money for rent because he has failed to pay the salary as you expected. Or maybe you have foolishly signed up for a KREP loan to study at DALC and you realised thereafter that you have been tricked.

Well, Heres a chance to send Humphrey Peter Oboorah a personal message.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009


Just type into the empty text box below and SUBMIT or PRESS ENTER ON YOUR KEYBOARD as we get into the best part about DALC. We call it, THE END!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009


Patrick Amukoa Makanga was born 28 years ago. But we are not here to write his life story. We are here today because he is Oborah's best friend, mentor and most trusted employee. He is also the SNITCH in CHIEF. The one who updates Oborah on everything that is going on.

Did you know that Faith Kinyae has tried to fire Patrick Amukoa Makanga countless times with no success? To this day, Patrick is the only employee who has served in DALC from its inception. Why is this so?

Well, Patrick joined as a student and quickly rose to become the most popular student mostly because of his endless stories about booze, women and his dick. As a result, Oborah made him the student leader and shortly thereafter hired him and sent him to Buruburu centre. He is a non starter by nature and thus the need for him to move from station to station within DALC at the behest of Oborah's wife.
To this day, Patrick has worked at DALC's Hurlingham, Buruburu, 20th Century, Westlands, Kericho, Nakuru, Nairobi West and Chiromo Lane.

The main reason for his neverending transfers is Faith Kinyae. She is unhappy that he is teaching Oborah badmanners. You see, Patrick is Oborah's pimp. The one who finds him young juicy girls and orgies. He does nothing but scheme for his next lay day after day and this always affects the performance of the centre he is running. As a result, Faith gets tired and fires. Oborah reinstates him to another centre despite Faith's protests.

Why would a critically acclaimed professor spend more time with a dimwitted-yellow toothed sexmaniac than he does with his wife? They love to sit and drink, see who can drink more, then Patrick teaches Oborah kimanyu and they recount their sexual exploits in Kimanyu. That'd be a mighty odd for a real professor but for a cheap sleazeball like Oborah, Patrick is truly his best friend.

 Patrick Amukoa Makanga and DALC student
Oborah has nothing but praise for Pato by the way. He says that Patrick would take a shot and die for him (oborah). And to prove it, Patrick spent last christmas with Oborah's family.  Afterwards, Faith Kinyae was telling people she couldn't believe how much of an idiot Patrick was.

Oborah says that he likes Patrick because he is a party animal (anajua kula hepi-in Oborah's words) and more because he is an moron. Yep, Oborah likes his best friend because he is a buffoon who has no ambition or future. Oborah once whispered to me that if Patrick was sharp, he'd make him the Operations Manager because he believes in Oborah 150%. But he wouldn't because the fela is an ass.

Patrick has served Oborah diligently and has presented to the naughty professor's altar of fornication enough girls to start a college. That must be the reason why the two are tighter than tight. He also serves as an MC in DALC events and is also Humphrey Oborah's bouncer, personal assistant, phone boy, driver, adviser, mentor depending on the occasion.   To Oborah, he is fondly reffered to as TOPA. Unfortunately for TOPA, H always turns to the next person and proclaims that he cannot believe how much of an idiot he is. But TOPA is the ever faithful lapdog that will stand any abuse by its master.

 Patrick Amukoa Makanga and DALC student
Their close relationship has been cemented by Patrick's ability to find him  young girls. He is constantly looking by the way. So that he can bring some  fresh meat (as they call it) along when Humphrey takes another one of those business trips to Kitale, Eld etc.

The pictures you see are of  Patrick and a young  DALC STUDENT who was later hawked to Oborah after he ( Patrick) was through with her. She was at the time a DALC student.

Humphrey Oborah should know that a man is judged by the company he keeps?