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Tuesday, March 24, 2009

OTHER CAREER OPTIONS for the FAKE PROFESSOR

We know that giving useless career advice is one fake profs forte and today we would like to pass some not so useless career advice to him. We understand that Doctors cannot treat themselves and have taken this opportunity to suggest things this beloved man can do given his unique skill set and inherent abilities. See the career options below.

Herbalist
Obow ra will shortly be launching the DALC Herbal centres. He will offer herbal education that is embeded in herbal testing and assesment. To this end, students will receive herbs from the UK In OXIM/CAM paper bags. The DALC HERBAL centres will have a catchy slogan " A herb is just a plant, Its medicinal content is the value. Patients will receive herbal prescriptions from the UK that will have an option to upgrade to stronger herbs upon payment of UK HERBAL.  OBOW ra will advertise his HERBAL centre on KTIN every Tuesday night after the 9 oclock news where he will proclaim to cure diseases that are yet to affect patients and sensationally claim cures for AIDS, MADNESS and lying.

Baker
Ham Frey intends to get into the baking business due to the increasing cost of bread which presents him with a unique opportunity to con people. His bread will be known the DIGITAL bread which will be baked with ingredients purpotedly from Oxford and Cambridge in the UK. His digital bread will have the capability of enhancing peoples career choices and will be marketed to schools and students through front page newspaper ads. The Kenya Bureau of Standards will question the quality of the bread but Obow ra will call a press conference where he will claim that there is nothing wrong with his bread as long as it fills the stomcah. He will accuse the Kenya Bureau of Standards of being jealous of his bakery. He will advise the KBS to open its own bakery and see how hard it is to run a bakery.

Milling
With extensive experience of running Kenya biggest diploma mill, Ham Frey expects to start his milling business where he will produce flour that is academically tested. His flour will result Gifts and talents for the users. He will claim that his flour was originally milled in the UK cities of CAMBRIDGE and Oxford. The mill will be known as the DIGITAL ACADEMIC LEANING MILL. He will publish pictures of ministers, the queen, michael jackson, mickey mouse, playboy bunny and obama on the flour packet.

When questioned by the press on his misleading advertisements he will promptly point to a fly on the wall and ask the pressmen to name it, explain how it got there and state what they were going to do about it. He will then tell a joke on how he's tried to hang his jacket on a fly on the wall after one too many. Upon further questioning on the matter of his advertising, he will challenge  the journalist to prove that she used tissue paper before coming to the press conference.

Blogging
To get back at us, Obow Ra will be launching 11 blogs that will be fully prometrically created using biomedical technology. One of the blogs will be called "Am laughing to the bank with this CAMFORD shiat", where he will piss on the other bloggers claiming that their attempts to halt his fraud have borne little fruit. He will also write an article " Shave your balls if the mayor does not exist", where he will write about his exploits with a man claiming to be the OXFORD mayor. When interviewed on the press, Obow Ra will say, " The blogs are now connected/linked/joined/put together/interlocked to all the UK blogs and have been validated/accepted/acknowledged/allowed/accredited/approved at CAMBRIDGE/OXFORD". He is currently working on an article, " I'm cleverer than you. Thats why I gave you diploma from non existent CAM/OXIM".

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